Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Suggestive vs Opinionated... It's Hard For Me.

On the receiving end, that is.
Recently, it seems that I am surrounded by more "advice" than I have been in a couple of decades.
"So what are your plans for next year?"... greeted by eyes that start to squint, arms fold and body posture sinks into place.  Do tell, it better suit me, and here's what you should do.
On the other hand, there are two people who come to mind that are "suggestive",  offer up lots of ideas... some not so great, but some over the top good!  Alicia M.  was always one of these.  She had this knack, still does, for letting her mind wander and spout out any idea, always landing on a gem.
(years and years ago we did a table scape event in the shop... it was our biggest sales day ever, and yet we didn't sell anything that was on the tables... I still laugh at that)
The other is Carol.  When I'm too preoccupied to make a decision she steps up, throws it out there and is right on.
Frankly, I rambled on about hosting some kind of event to Carol years ago and I think I might have to credit her with a big part of that decision, which has turned into Viva's Vintage Market.

Recently in my Zumba class I was approached by a new student of a certain age,  that told me I did not make her sweat enough.  Again today, after her being at five classes she again approached me to "suggest" that I need to talk about shoes, knees, joints... certain "moves" that I do over and over, then she demonstrated those moves.
The thing is, I want to think I can be gracious and thank her for her  "opinions", but sometimes it's just hard. 
To a point she's dead wrong... that's all we used to talk about...safe moves.  Watch those knees, don't over do the shoulders, and you are responsible for your workout... step it up lady!  To a point, she's dead on... I should never relax and think students remember everything I tell them, just to avoid injury, and I should show different ways to do the moves, high energy and low
My issue with this woman is simple... she is aggressive in her "opinions" and they flow freely... yet she doesn't know me, and I want to strike back.
Suggestive Vs Opinionated.
In Zumba today the routine to "Pachuco" came on... again.
I mumbled in dead pan,  under my breath... "This is my favorite song, I know I play it every time, and I'm sorry"
From the front row, Jean said.. "you're the instructor, you can!"  Of course this strokes my ego.

It's a life lesson.
How do you handle an opinionated person, who thinks they are just being suggestive, but are strong and swift in their remarks pushing your every button to strike back?

Beer Festival... two gentlemen walked up to me (and when I say gentle, I could tell they were worked up, yet not used to confrontation and nervous).  They were correct in their opinion... which ended up being the perfect suggestion.  I could tell they awaited and dreaded confrontation, yet I was full on accepting and they weren't sure what to make of it.  I'm not sure that they believed I would follow through, but I will.

Then there's religion and politics.... no need to go there, but  I will say that I am always stunned at how people dig in, just to be right and to make a point.  I don't visit these areas, however I have strong beliefs and do not feel the need to force you to believe what I do.

Why is it that some people can suggest things and they ring just fine, yet some people force opinions.... that could be just the right ticket, yet the delivery is offensive?

How do you handle opinionated vs suggestive?

Do tell,


  1. Angie... so sorry you had this happen.. I say.. you take a Deep breath and thank GOD you are not them :)
    I have had things like this happen recently... it gives us a chance to reflect on the goodness we have in life..
    My husband says " some people are only happy when they are unhappy" sounds like you might have found one that subscribes to that philosophy.
    Keep your chin up and Zumba like there is NO tomorrow... Not everyone can be an instructor... think of the folks you are making happy and concentrate on them...rather than the one bad apple.
    have a better day tomorrow!... you deserve it!

  2. THE SEA

    Stroke by stroke my body remembers that life and cries for the lost parts of itself-
    fins, gills opening like flowers into the flesh - my legs want to lock and become one muscle
    I swear I know just what the blue-gray scales shingling the rest of me would feel like!
    Sprawled in that mother lap, in that dream house of salt and exercise, what a spillage of nostalgia pleads
    from the very bones! how they long to give up the long trek inland, the brittle beauty of
    understanding, and dive, and simply become again a flaming body of blind feeling =sleeking
    along in the luminous roughage of the sea's body, vanished like victory inside that inducing genesis, that roaring flamboyance, that perfect beginning and conclusion of our own.
    mary oliver

    SUCH IS THE WORK OF SPIRITS INHABITING HUMAN BODIES AND TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. I ONCE HAD A STUDENT SAY VERY LOUDLY (almost yelling) IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEDITATIVE YOGA CLASS "CAN YOU CHANGE THAT MUSIC!!" i walked over and quietly changed the music and decided that was much easier then trying to change her... such is life in process. Love, Theresa


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